


We Could Get Better

by Bakageta



Series: This Sort of Thing in Particular [1]
Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Body Horror, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Venom Symbiote (Marvel), Getting to Know Each Other, Other, POV Venom Symbiote (Marvel), but all the organs stay on the inside so that's nice, detailed description of organs, mentions of cannibalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-10 22:58:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17435084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bakageta/pseuds/Bakageta
Summary: “Our bond isn’t working well right now, V.”weak. small.They can’t fix it yet, they simply do not have enough mass.----It takes some time to recover, but they come back better.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written while listening to a lot of Frank Turner, in particular "Get Better" and 'The Next Storm" from Positive Songs for Negative People.

Lub-dub…

Lub-dub…

Lub-dub…

They wake entangled in a nest of arteries atop the four pulsing chambers of a heart. The pericardium they’re woven into shifts gently around them in time with the expansion and contraction (Inhale. Hold. Exhale.) of the lungs surrounding them. They’ve got tendrils lining the lumens of the great vessels that arch around them (Aorta. Vena Cava. Pulmonaries.) and extend out into the body beyond their limited reach. They’re reduced to filtering the necessary nutrients from the blood in these vessels, but that’s okay.

Lub-dub…

Only one part of their self isn’t tangled up in the aortic root, a thin neglected thread that’s stretched almost taut and anchored to the first thoracic vertebra. This thread winds up the spinal canal, weaves through the brain stem, and makes the faintest of connections to the basal ganglia. Only the barest of connections exist, they aren’t in any danger (of course they aren’t, hidden away in pericardium, between lungs, caged by ribs, sheathed in flesh) but there’s a vague sense of grey.

Lub-dub...

Maybe that’s what drew them out of hibernation?

Lub-dub…

It’s harder than they want it to be, but they strengthen the thread. It goes from thread to string to twine until they can do no more. They stiffen around the vessels in their grasp and then loosen, the equivalent of the glorious extend-contract-stretch of skeletal muscle that they can recall distantly. Now they’re tired and start to drift again, content.

Lub--

Lub-dub…

The heart stutters around them.

“Venom?” the lungs conduct vibration around them, but more importantly the mind in the brain they reached toward asks  _ Venom? _

**_ here. hungry. tired. _ **  They respond, incapable of explaining or even thinking anything else.

Lub-dub…

Lub-dub…

Lub-dub…

This time the heart beats steady while the lungs stutter briefly around them. For a moment they wonder if the mind is competition until it responds.

Good feelings and neurotransmitters flood the brain (disbelief, joy, amazement, trust, love) and some of them leak into the blood. They gorge themselves, sending gratefulness and contentment and love back to the mind in the brain they twine through. Perhaps the mind has hidden itself in the brain like they’ve hidden atop the heart? It doesn’t matter though, the mind doesn’t seem threatening.

They’re sated and drift peacefully back into hibernation, lulled by the heart’s steady beat.

Lub-dub…

Lub-dub…

Lub-dub…

Time passes steadily, counted out by the beating of the heart they rest upon. They cycle through periods of awareness and resting and near complete torpor. Every time they wake they spend some energy to contact the mind in the brain they’re connected to, and every time it reacts with concern and hope and wanting.

They are slowly building themselves up, painfully slowly, but it’s not enough.

They want to protect the heart they rest on and maybe even the mind they speak to, but they are too small even though they are pressing uncomfortably against the tangled nest of vessels they reside in. Soon they’ll have to extend beyond the pericardium that tucks them against the heart, but they don’t know which way they should grow. There’s so much they don’t know and so much they want.

Lub-dub…

Lub-dub…

Lub-dub…

This time, instead of waking they are woken. There is a thumping at the sternum that guards them and the heart and lungs around them are struggling.

_ You need to move _ the mind tells them while the lungs struggle to take in spasming breaths.  _ I’m glad you’re getting better, but you’re too heavy now. _

**_safe._ ** They protest, who is the mind to tell them where to be? The heart is the safest place surrounded by hot viscera, solid bone, and thick flesh and they want to stay as long as they can even though they know the mind is probably correct. Whatever lies beyond the bounds of the flesh they reside in reduced them to this state and they can’t help the fear that buzzes through them.

Lub-dub…

Lub-

Lub-

Lub-dub…

They lose contact with the mind as the lungs hack and spasm more harshly and more concerningly the heart stutters. They tighten their grip but that only makes it worse and acrid stress fills the blood and they clutch even tighter.

_ STOP. _ the mind forces their connection back open, something they hadn’t known it could do and they go lax with the strength of it’s command.

_ VENOM YOU’RE HURTING ME. _ The mind thunders and the lungs heave and the heart pounds and they realize that the mind is in control of the body because it is the mind’s body not just because the mind is stronger than them. The force of it rattles them loose and they slip out of the pericardium and drip down to rest at the back of the diaphragm near the spine. Their one connection to the mind is drawn tight and uncomfortable again.

**_sorry._ ** They say after the lungs have calmed and the heart has slowed its pace.  **_scared._ ** It’s all the reason they can offer.

“It’s okay.” The lungs exhale and vocal chords in the larynx vibrate. They realize that the mind is speaking out loud and wonder why.

“Our bond isn’t working well right now, V.”

**_weak. small._ ** They can’t fix it yet, they simply do not have enough mass.

“It’s okay.” The mind says again. “You’re already doing so much better.”

They send gratefulness and some of it must get through because the mind washes them in waves of love and care and comfort and protection. It gives them just enough energy to scale up the vertebra and ease the strain on the twine that ties them to the mind. They settle in the upper chest, lashing themselves to the clavicles, first ribs, and last cervical vertebra. The vessels here aren’t as large but they’ve got more branches. They settle into the internal and external jugular vessels on both sides of the throat, it should be enough for now.

They drift off to the pulsing beat of the mind’s heart.

Lub-dub…

Lub-dub…

Lub-dub…

A few wake-rest cycles later the mind asks a question.

_ What can I do to help, V? _

They think. It’s something they’ve been slowly getting better at, helped along by the fact that the mind is eating foods that are good for them as well as foods that are good for it.

**_Eat._ ** They give the mind the taste of the foods that are good for them.

“Chocolate, potatoes, and raw meat, huh? Cool, cool, would it be better if you ate them or does it have to be me?”

Again they pause to think. It would be better for them to absorb any nutrients directly, otherwise the mind’s body would get most of it. But they hesitate.

**_Scared._ **

The mind uses one of it’s limbs to rub at the base of the neck that they hide underneath. More importantly it sends waves of love and comfort.

“We’re safe.” It says and for reasons they can’t recall that particular phrasing sparks joy from them. “We’re in my apartment and all the doors are locked and the windows are shut. No one can get in unless I let them, and I won’t do that.”

They don’t entirely want to but they’re hungry and they trust the mind despite their fear so they press up through the layers of bone, muscle, and skin. They used the slow movement of the mind’s hand as a target so when they seep through the skin’s pores they’re directly under the hand. The fingers stop moving but remain over top of the small amount of themselves that was all they could commit to emerging.

The air outside the mind’s body is cool, but not uncomfortably so, especially as close to the body as they are. It also doesn’t burn like they expected it to and they realize that they’ve taken a thin layer of epithelial cells with them when they emerged. They did it automatically and the body was seemingly so used to their presence that it allowed them to borrow its cells.

The body moves slowly and confidently through the enclosed space that they catch echoes of past the hand. The sounds of the body’s footsteps bounce off the walls and ceiling and floor muffled in some places where there are piles of fabric and getting tangled in various structures.

“Here’s some chocolate, you got a mouth or something?” It’s an interesting feeling to hear the mind’s words from the outside. They wash over them from above instead of soak into them from all sides.

**_Hungry._ **

“Okay, okay, here!”

The other hand nudged a piece of chocolate against them and they all but rip it from the hand’s fingers, engulfing it in themselves and rapidly breaking it down.

**_Good-good-good-good-good._ ** They tell the mind. The chocolate tastes almost like love tastes and it’s nice because they can take all of it and not have to worry about sharing anything with the mind. They still send the mind their gratefulness, though, because manners are important.

The mind makes the the lungs and vocal chords make soft laughing noises and sends joy and love into the bloodstream. They take as much as they can but after this bounty they’re stuffed full.

They retreat, carefully replacing the epithelial cells and return to their resting spot at the base of the mind’s throat. The heart’s rhythm lulls them back to sleep.

Lub-dub…

Lub-dub…

Lub-dub…

Existence continues on like that for many more sleep-wake cycles. Every time they rouse themselves the mind feeds them something. Sometimes it’s chocolate which sustains their self, or meat which grows their mass faster than love or chocolate can, or potatoes which do both but not as well as either of the other foods the mind gives them.

They grow faster now that they’re being fed and they take care to expand beyond the upper chest before they can hurt the mind’s body again. First, they slide down the spinal column anchoring to each vertebral body as they reach it. Then they move into the canal when they realize it allows them to gain a distant sense of the mind’s body. A thin lining of themselves is all they need, any more than that and the pressure on the chord causes the mind pain even though there’s nothing wrong with the body. Eventually they line the entire thoracic cavity, nestled in the pleura surrounding the lungs and darkening the interior of the intercostal muscles.

They shy away from the heart even though it’s pulsing comforts them. They don’t want a repeat of when they almost strangled the precious organ. The mind is stronger than them still, even though it cares for them, and they don’t want to tempt it into attacking them.

Lub-dub…

Lub-dub…

Lub-dub...

“Why isn’t our bond getting stronger, V?” The mind asks one cycle shortly after they wake.

**_Not Enough?_ ** They ask, they’ve gotten better at talking to the mind but they haven’t strengthened the twining tendril of themselves since the mind used it to drive them from it’s heart.

“No! No, V, whatever you can manage is enough!” The mind corrects urgently. “But we used to have more… And even though we did a bunch of crazy shit, I kinda miss it…”

**_Can Try._ **

“Please.”

Still they hesitate.  **_If Hurt?_ **

“Yes, even if it hurts.” The mind reassures and sends trust and encouragement.

**_Okay._ ** They send all of themselves that they can spare up the cervical vertebra, their excess fading away from the intercostal muscles. Increasing the size of the connection worked last time so they’re doing that again. It’s all they can think to do because much of what they’ve been doing is instinct and the rest they’ve done out of fear of being rejected.

The foramen magnum where the mind’s spinal cord emerges from it’s skull is more of an obstacle this time. It’s not wide enough to allow the mass they’ve sent up the mind’s uncomfortably tight throat so instead they’re forced to slowly merge through the dense occipital bone at the skull’s base.

And it’s good they slowed down because there’s a lot less space in the skull that they thought there would be. At a loss of what to do next, they slip thin layers of themselves in and around the brain’s outer protective membranes. Through the dura, the arachnoid, and almost the pia before they feel a pained moan in the part of them that’s still anchored in the chest.

**_Okay?_ **

From their position wrapped around the brain they feel the tiny arcs of electricity flow through the brain as the mind struggles to respond. The mind grinds the teeth.

_ Fine. keepgoing. PLEase. _

They do.

It’s almost no effort to move through the delicate pia mater and into the brain proper. Immediately they sense the part of them that twines up the spinal cord, up the brainstem, and into the basal ganglia, but they also sense more.

There are spots, no there are nodes, no there are holdfasts throughout the brain. Tiny inert pieces of them that snapped and broke leaving specks of their matter embedded in the brain. The strand of them that twines into the center of the brain ends in one of these holdfasts, and noticing this makes it obvious what they need to do.

As quickly and carefully as they can they follow the curves and sulci of the brain, each path leading to a holdfast. One by one they reconnect to each abandoned piece of themselves and as the last connections are re-established they realize.

The mind isn’t just the mind, he’s Eddie.

They aren’t separate beings, they’re Venom.


	2. Chapter 2

They come to on the floor of the living room area in Eddie’s shitty studio apartment.

Eddie is still unconscious, their rejoining had been traumatic despite their unknowing efforts. The first thing they check is their heart and it’s still in good condition. They’re still lashed against the vertebral bodies of Eddie’s spine, significant portions of them woven into the cervical bones, through Eddie’s skull, and nestled against his brain. They don’t have the mass or the reach to check the rest of the body without disconnecting from most of Eddie’s brain and they have no desire to do that after being separate together for so long. Nothing hurt except for a residual pounding in their head that was steadily fading so the rest of their body was... probably okay.

Instead they check their bond and find that something fundamental has changed.

Normally when Klyntar bond with a host there is an order… no, a hierarchy to the connections they make. First and most important are the connections to the host’s sensory cortex because without those they’re blinded by the flesh of whatever they inhabit. After that it’s the motor cortex, and, even though these connections are technically less important, these footholds must be strongest. If they aren’t the host can resist their control, if they aren’t the host can fight back and retake control. They had never been particularly good at this, too enamored with the idea of an equal partnership to commit to total control. But they had tried in every host they’d taken, even Eddie.

Third is the connection to the memory cortex to provide language, history, and context. Last, and supposedly least, the link to the host’s consciousness because if a host can be tricked into cooperation then less energy is needed, less damage is done, and the host will last longer. This is the part they treasured most, to their detriment. But as always they had tried to emulate the ideal bond and not their desired bond, even when they reformed the connection they had with Eddie after being forced into separation. It had worked in spite of their lackluster domination of Eddie’s motor cortex. Because, though he could have struggled for control at any time, Eddie fought alongside them instead of against them even after the trauma of near absorption and repeated separation.

The bond they have with Eddie now isn’t like that anymore.

There are no priorities in the myriad connections, all are given equal importance. In their weakened, unknowing state they had based all the connections off of the one that Eddie had forced back on them. Now their bond was seemingly based off of even communication between host and Klyntar, a… they rummaged in Eddie’s brain for a metaphor, a two way street.

Their name has shifted as well, Venom is not just them anymore. Now, Venom is tangled somewhere in between them and Eddie. They’re not worried, so much of what they are is based off of the context their host gives them and the shape their bond takes.

It was new, and interesting, and they had no idea what would happen or what had changed because of it.

They want nothing more than to submerge themselves in this new bond, explore both ends of it as thoroughly as Eddie will let them, and they will, but they probably shouldn’t do it on the apartment’s hardwood floor.

They’re too small to manually move Eddie’s limbs, so they have to use only their connection to Eddie’s motor cortex. It’s not something they’re used to, they’d always gotten better results from the direct control afforded to them by moving themselves within their host, but needs must. It’s a distant sort of control, strange without any of Eddie’s active sense memory to guide them, but they can do it well enough on their own.

Eddie’s arms prop his body up under their guidance and with an awkward shift they tense the dozens of thin muscles and ligaments along his spine before staggering to Eddie’s feet. The walk to Eddie’s bed is an awkward one, they nearly fall three times, and they’re glad Eddie lives in a studio apartment so they don’t have to attempt to deal with door knobs. They tip themselves over face first onto the bed and try to sink back into their bond. When they can’t they huff and turn Eddie’s head so he’s not face down in a pillow and, at some base urging, pull eddie’s feet entirely up onto the bed.

The vagaries of Eddie’s body appeased, they drift along the cords of their bond, attempting to understand how it’s changed.

Both sides are completely open. Theirs because they have neither the strength or desire to limit it and Eddie is unknowing and unconscious, unable to limit them in any way. And it’s tempting, they can all but see Eddie’s resting mind at the other end of the bond, but they remember the few minutes on the buoy. The first time they showed themselves to Eddie physically. How distressed he had been when they told him how they’d gone through his head, as was their right.

They don’t want to cause Eddie distress like that again.

So they stay on their side and think and dream and long until they too fall into quiet sleep.

\---

\---

\---

_Wh’ time is it?_

Eddie’s thoughts rouse them, his mind is still foggy with sleep and his thoughts dull so they stay quiet.

 _Phone._ Eddie thinks and then fumbles for the device on his nightstand before realizing that it’s still in the pocket of the jeans he’s still wearing. _The hell? Why’m I dressed in bed?_ He rolls over and fishes his phone out.

 _4:27, what the fuck?_ He thinks and trails off into the mental equivalent of a progress bar filling up.

They realize that Eddie hasn’t noticed the bond yet, shaking off the dregs of dreamless sleep and dealing with the confusion of waking up clothed in his bed. All the thoughts are undirected but they hear them cleanly as if Eddie was focused only on them.

_Somethin’s up…_

They feel him take a slow inventory of his body, mumbling in his head the whole time. Being so clearly aware of their host’s mind opposite them is amazing. Just being able to follow the shape of Eddie’s thought process so precisely is something they don’t think they can get tired of.

Then Eddie notices the bond and his awareness rushes over them like a tide.

“Oh…” _It worked…_

 **_Yessss…_ ** they all but hum.

And for a time they just bask in each other’s presence.

They’re relieved that they’re back, that they know him again. The feeling he recalled of a missing piece that hadn’t been re-seated correctly is gone, and they are smooth and seamless once again. Everything is right and joy, and love, and contentment, and hope for things to come are sent back and forth and magnified and treasured. It’s almost completely perfect.

Almost, because as Eddie runs mental hands along the remade join between their separate minds they see him catch and pause on rough patches that they hadn’t even noticed from their perspective. It winds a small thread of worry through them that Eddie notices immediately, responding with reassurance and concern.

 _It’s different?_ Eddie wonders, too deep in their bond to speak aloud.

 **_Yes, our bond is…_ ** They pause and pull from Eddie’s memory. **_Nonstandard._ **

_I like it, s’easier to talk to you._

They feel him wonder at reasons for the change.

 **_I…_ ** the thought catches awkwardly, but it’s true, right now as close as they are there isn’t a true we. Not yet.

 **_I did not know what I was doing when I was weak\lesser\reduced so when you asked for more I gave you more of the only bond I knew._ ** They show Eddie the twining branch of their bond that had been their sole connection for so long. That Eddie had forced open from his end. **_I like it this way._ ** Satisfaction rolls off them in waves.

_You’re better now?_

They hesitate **_...Functionally…_ **

_What do you mean ‘functionally’? Venom, are yo--_

A shiver of unease passes between them and they’re both suddenly aware of Eddie’s steady breathing and heartbeat.

 **_I am still reduced, Eddie._ ** They admit. **_I am leaning on you. Without this connection I don’t have the mass to process anything beyond instinct._ **

Concern blankets them.

_We’ll be okay?_

**_Eventually._ **

_What can I do?_ Eddie asks, unconsciously bringing up a memory ( _What can I do to help, V?_ ).

Their host’s question sticks in their mind in a way that it hadn’t been able to before. The first impulse they have is to deny that Eddie needs to do anything for them. He guards them against the stupid oxygen atmosphere, gives them a home, a history, and maybe even a purpose. The least they can do is not be a burden.

 _You’re not, though._ Eddie, they realize abruptly, had followed the shape of their thoughts in their bond, and they allow themselves a moment of awe. _I’d be dead without you._

**_Then we’re even._ **

_Hopefully we won’t have to keep track, V. But, really, what can I do?_

**_What you’ve been doing is enough for now, I’ll need more later._ **

_Alright._

They stay together in the bond for as long as they can after that, until they drift off into sleep and Eddie gets out of bed to start his day.

\---

\---

\---

Now that they are aware they recover more quickly.

They build upon themselves exponentially, growing more and leaning on Eddie less and less. They remember how to thread themselves between cells now and they wrap themselves in between muscle fibers, around the myelin sheaths that coat Eddie’s nerves, and wind through the bony matrix around his osteocytes. They still wrap around the interior of Eddie’s chest and rest gently against his heart comfortable in the knowledge that it is Eddie’s, and Eddie is theirs, and, they’re pretty sure, they are Eddie’s.

They adjust to Eddie subtly. Learning his tics and desires. They leave pieces of their mass outside of his body so he can reassure himself. They’re a touchstone, a reminder that he’s not alone anymore. As they grow they support Eddie more physically as well, catching him as he stumbles and supporting him when he’s tired.

Eddie adjusts to them as well, needing less reassurance and expecting their support. He learns their bond quickly as well. He has to because he’s not limited by it anymore, everything that they can do with it Eddie can as well even if he doesn’t realize it. Mostly Eddie learns how to not pay attention to it constantly. How to split his focus so he doesn’t stop in the midst of a conversation or while walking down the street. How to have a private thought stay private, because, even though they don’t give a shit about privacy, Eddie does.

Two weeks after they reform their bond, they’re well enough to hunt.

\---

\---

\---

Eddie had taken them on a quiet walk down to the bay the night after they told him they wanted to hunt.

The hope had been that they might run into someone bad enough for Eddie to be okay with eating and if not they could hunt seals or something in the water. They didn’t really understand the point of being so picky about their prey, bad was bad, good was good, and food was food was food. But Eddie insisted that eating too much too quickly would get them noticed and hunted, and they supposed Eddie would know better in regards to staying unnoticed.

They spent the whole walk settled just under the skin on Eddie’s back along his spine and shoulders ready to engulf him at a moment’s notice. Their eagerness was making Eddie tense, his shoulders and neck stiff, but they couldn’t help themselves. Their shared form would be different, they knew, it was a reflection of their bond and they wanted to know what had changed.

But either the bad guys weren’t out tonight or they were on the other side of the city because the only people they saw were, according to Eddie, good people just doing the best they can with what they have. They would have complained more if there hadn’t been a backup plan and if they hadn’t been looking forward to this ever since they reforged their bond.

Now the two of them were standing at the edge of Pier 35 outside of the overflow cruise terminal. There was some sort of event going on inside that had everyone distracted and had allowed them to sneak over a gate and around the building to relative privacy. They would be able to easily swim out past Pier 39 and hopefully catch some sea lions as they were coming in for the night.

“You ready, V?” Eddie asked aloud.

They were just pleased that at some point during the past two weeks Eddie had picked up without words that they alone were not Venom anymore. It had soothed some of the few remaining rough edges left between them. He called them V now, and it was a new sensation for them to have a name that was just theirs.

**_Yes, Eddie._ **

“Then let’s go.”

They burst from Eddie’s body, flowing over the familiar shape of their host’s body for the first time in over a month. Their strength builds and they rise to their full height, teeth closing over Eddie’s face, but instead of fading into the background Eddie stays with them.

 _This is new._ They hear themselves think and there’s a passing moment of dissonance as they realize it was the part of them that is Eddie that thought it. They realize that Eddie is present with them in a way that had previously been impossible, his mind snug against theirs in the center of their bond.

**“It is.”**

_We like it._

**“We do.”** They both grin.

 _We are why V is V now, aren’t we?_ They ask themselves.

**“We are.”**

Then, together.

**_“We are Venom.”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's still technically the weekend! Also I apologize if I messed up pier 35, it's either an overflow cruise terminal, an event center, or both? I haven't personally been there...
> 
> Now to get back to my bigbang...

**Author's Note:**

> It's incredibly fun to write in such an alien perspective, hopefully it's interesting to read. The next bit has a slightly more normal perspective from V and some exploration of their bond. It's about half done and should be posted by this weekend (no definite promises). I wrote this when I ran out of steam on another fic so hopefully when this is done I'll be able to get back to it...
> 
> Comments and kudos are very welcome!


End file.
